|
|
|
Wedding Reception Speeches |
 |
 |
 |
Whether your motif is formal or casual, speeches are a traditional part of any reception.
Being asked to give a wedding speech is a great honor. You have the opportunity to publicly tell the people close to you how much they mean to you. Yes, you can express your feelings in a card, but declaring your thoughts before all your loved ones gives your words a special significance. Opportunities such as this come along few and far between - make the most of it.
Traditionally, only the parents of the bride, the groom and best man give speeches at the reception. Today other speeches are also being given. The maid of honor, the parents of the groom and the bride herself are also taking the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings.
When it comes to writing your speech the key thing to remember is that speeches are essentially long toasts. The same sentiment, words of wisdom and perspective on marriage that are found in a wedding toast are likewise present throughout a speech. However, a wedding speech goes one step further. It takes the time to explore and share relationships and feelings with others. While a wedding toast can provoke our thoughts, a wedding speech can stir our emotions. In fact, a wedding, like no other event, brings out the best of our emotions: love, joy, pride, hope and a sense of unity. A wedding speech coveys all those feelings and more. The bittersweet sadness of a father "losing" his little girl. The sense of life coming full circle for a grandparent and the anticipation of their new life together by the couple themselves.
A wedding speech is also a public acknowledgement of those who made the wedding a reality. It thanks the parents for their financial contributions. It pays tribute to the hard work and dedication of the wedding party. Lastly, a wedding speech commends those who took care of all the details to make the wedding a success.
Parents of the Bride Speech
The bride's parent's speech (or the father of the bride speech) is traditionally the first speech of the wedding reception. To help set the tone of the evening the bride's parents may open their speech by commenting on how beautiful the ceremony was and relaying any amusing incidents that occurred during the day. Of all the speeches the parents of the bride speech is the most emotional and sentimental.
The first to be thanked are the guests. Make a special mention of the guests who have traveled a great distance to attend the wedding. Next, thank those that helped contribute to the cost of the wedding. Some guests may assume the bride's family paid for the entire wedding as was traditionally done in the past. Simply put, give credit where credit is due. If the groom's family contributed to the costs, this acknowledgment will go a long way in establishing mutual good will and building a strong relationship between the two families. If the couple paid for the wedding themselves, compliment them on their wonderful accomplishment.
As the "unofficial" hosts of the wedding reception the bride's parents can also use their speech to thank the wedding officiant, catering staff and others that made the wedding possible.
This next part of the speech should involve expressing pride in your daughter. Compliment her on how beautiful she looks and praise her for the incredible woman she's become. Relate your favorite memories of her childhood and your relationship. Most important of all, tell her how much you love her and that while she's now a married woman she'll always be your "little girl". Also praise the groom on how perfectly he complements your daughter. Let him know how happy you are to have him as a son-in-law and formally welcome him to your family.
Now offer some words of wisdom to the couple. This can be a humorous anecdote drawn from experience, a charming quote or proverb or a thoughtful poem. Your advice should provide a lighthearted view on the joys and tribulations of marriage. The speech concludes with a toast to the couple wishing them happiness, prosperity and good health. A toast should also be given to the groom, traditionally the next speaker.
If you decide to have only one person give the speech (usually the father) be sure comments include your partner. As the speech embodies both your thoughts and feelings the bride's parents should stand at the microphone or podium together.
Parents of the Groom Speech
The groom's parents' speech is a relatively new addition to the wedding speech lineup. Traditionally only three speeches were given: the parents of the bride speech, the groom's speech and the best man's speech. Today, more of the couple's loved ones are taking the opportunity to openly wish the couple well and share words of wisdom. Having raised and loved the groom his entire life the groom's parents have certainly earned the right to give a speech.
Start by acknowledging the toast of the previous speaker. It will likely be the best man or the maid of honor. Now thank the guests. You may want to keep this brief as the guests have been thanked profusely by this point. Perhaps call attention to the guests on your side of the family that traveled far to attend the wedding.
If the bride's parents acknowledged your contributions to the wedding now is the time to reply in kind. If the couple paid for the wedding themselves commend them on their exceptional achievement. Also use this opportunity to honor the joining of the two families. A simple heartfelt message works best. Praise the virtues of your charming new daughter-in-law. Also express your gratitude to the bride's parents at how completely they've welcomed your son into their family. If appropriate, relate a happy incident of when you and your wife's families bonded together as one. In short, express your solidarity with the bride's family.
This next part of your speech is devoted to your son. Tell him how handsome he looks. Compliment him on the success of the wedding. Share some of your favorite memories of the groom's childhood - those moments that feel "just like yesterday". And of course let your son know how much he means to you. Don't be afraid to display your emotions. A wedding is one of those rare events where the guests are expecting some tears!
Now offer some words of wisdom to the couple. This can be a humorous anecdote drawn from experience, a fitting quote or a sweet poem. Your advice should provide a lighthearted view on the joys and tribulations of marriage. Your speech concludes with a toast to the couple's future joy and good fortune. If another speaker is to follow (either the maid of honor or the bride) a toast should also be made in their name.
If you decide to have only one person give the speech (usually the father) be sure your comments include your partner. As your speech expresses both your thoughts and feelings both should stand at the microphone or podium.
Groom's Speech
The groom's speech is traditionally the second speech of the wedding reception - following the bride's parent's speech. Most grooms dread the moment they must step in the front of a microphone and give a speech to their wedding guests, but it is the perfect opportunity to personally thank family and friends for attending his wedding and sharing the day with him and his bride. The groom's speech is also the time to publicly introduce, acknowledge, and thank the wedding party for their help and support throughout the planning of and during the wedding. Although most brides are opting to share the couple's air time, traditionally, the bride isn't required to give a speech during the reception. If the groom is giving the speech on behalf of the bride as well, he must remember to say "we" and not "I" when thanking family and friends.
The most common issue grooms have with giving a speech is not knowing what to say. It is always good idea for the groom to take his cue from the bride's parents. Start by thanking the bride's parents for their kind words and toast. If the bride's parents complimented the groom in their speech, the groom should reply in kind by expressing his fondness and appreciation for them. It is appropriate for the groom to thank the bride's parents for welcoming him into their family and approving of their daughter's choice in him as her husband. If they contributed to the wedding financially or otherwise, this is the time to publicly thank them for their support.
Next, thank the guests for attending the wedding and sharing in the festivities. Give a special thanks to guests that have traveled a long distance to attend the wedding. It is not necessary to draw attention to each person individually, but it can be refreshing to thank a close relative or friend by name if they are comfortable with the attention.
Next in line for thanks are the groom's parents - not just for their role or contributions to the wedding, but for their ongoing support, past, present, and future. The groom should speak from the heart and if the words err on the emotional side, so be it. Even while every parent knows their child loves them, hearing the words spoken aloud and the acknowledgment and public appreciation of their good work as parents is a moment they'll never forget.
Thanking the wedding party comes next. The groom should introduce each member of his wedding party, including the best man, groomsmen and ring bearer, and give an example highlighting how they demonstrated their support throughout the wedding planning. The groom should give a special thanks to the best man: describe why this particular friend was chosen to be the best man, explain why the friendship is so important, share a humorous, but appropriate, story with the guests or offer a sentimental anecdote about the friendship. If the bride is sharing the air time and giving her own speech, she will acknowledge and thank her maid of honor, bridesmaids and flower girl herself.
And finally, the groom should turn to his beautiful wife, tell her how much he loves her, how much he looks forward to spending his life with her, and thank her for saying "yes." Once again, if the words end up sounding a little emotional, so be it. This is the time for the groom to say everything he could never say to his bride before this day, with no embarrassment and no regret. The groom can share the story of how they met and when he knew she was the woman he would marry. He can even describe how he proposed and exactly how she accepted.
To end off his speech, tradition dictates that the groom offers a toast to the maid of honor and the bridesmaids. Although, ending with a final toast to the bride and a quick kiss is a terribly romantic alternative to ending the groom's speech.
Bride's Speech
Traditionally a bride's speech was not given. Her new husband spoke on her behalf during the groom's speech. This oversight is now being remedied as brides everywhere take to the podium to speak their minds. As an unexpected benefit to years of restrictive formality brides have a lot of freedom as it pertains to the content of their speech. There are no set rules as to who you must thank, who to toast or when to give your speech. It's all up to you! That said, the following speech outline is a suggestions only - feel free to customize it.
Start by acknowledging the previous speaker's wedding toast to you. Chances are it will be your maid of honor or the groom's parents. These speeches are also "non-traditional" and therefore don't have a set place in the wedding speech sequence - just as yours doesn't. Most brides choose to give their speech last as a way of offering final thanks for the evening. This leads us to thanking the guests for their attendance and their generosity, that is, their gifts. At this point in the evening all the guests who have traveled far will have been mentioned. As an alternative, perhaps you could thank those long-lost friends or relatives who attended the wedding.
Also thank your wedding party, in particular the bridesmaids and maid of honor (especially if the groom plans to thank the groomsmen and best man in his speech). Be sure to include the flower girl - she'll adore the special attention. Let them know how much you appreciate their dedication and hard work. Also tell them how much they mean to you today and every day. Perhaps share a humorous story of how disaster was diverted by a quick thinking bridesmaid.
Now thank your parents. Describe your fondest childhood memories and what it is about your relationship you value most. Thank them all they've done for you, today and all your life. Be as sentimental and emotional as you like - there's no shame in telling your parents how much you love them. Your wedding is a bittersweet moment for them. A little reassurance that you'll always be their "little girl" will be appreciated.
Your new in-laws are next. First acknowledge any assistance (financial or otherwise) they provided in making your wedding a reality. Then thank them for how they've welcomed you into their family. Describe the moment when you felt you were part of the family and how much it meant to you. Compliment them on what a wonderful son they've raised - then go on to compliment the groom himself.
Not only should you tell your new husband how much you love him, but also why you love him. What makes him so special? Let him and all your guests know. Share the story of when you met (your version of course!) and when you knew "he was the one".
Finish your speech with a toast to the guests thanking them for their generosity, kindness and affection.
The Best Man's Speech
The best man's speech is traditionally the last speech of the night, following the groom's speech. The best man's speech is typically the most anticipated speech of the evening - it is often the most humorous. The best man has the joy of playfully teasing the groom and exposing some of his more embarrassing moments, while making sure he does not offend the bride, groom, or guests. While the best man's speech should be amusing, it should remain appropriate in tone without revealing anything too personal about the groom.
Traditionally, the maid or matron of honor did not give a speech at the wedding reception, so the best man was considered the head of the wedding party and would speak on behalf of the wedding party. The best man would start his speech by acknowledging the groom's kind words and thanks to the bridesmaids and maid of honor. If the maid of honor isn't giving a speech, the best man can thank the bride and groom on behalf of the entire wedding party for including them in their wedding celebrations. If the maid of honor is speaking, the best man should thank the couple for including himself and the other groomsmen in their special day. The best man should also compliment the couple on how fantastic they look in their wedding attire - highlighting how beautiful the bride is and how lucky the groom is to have such a beautiful bride by his side - and the overall success of the wedding.
Once the thanks and acknowledgements are out of the way, the best man can get down to business - embarrassing the groom! The stories should be humorous, a little racy but not offensive. The best man has the right to slightly embarrass the groom, but not to outright humiliate or dishonor him. The best man should take care to not offend or upset the bride and extended family members as well - some "dirty secrets" and "white lies" should remain untold! Keep all stories, anecdotes, and jokes audience and age-appropriate. Younger guests may find a joke or comment humorous, but the same joke may offend the older guests and may not be suitable for young children. To keep the mood upbeat, comical, and suitable for all ages, the best man should stick with good-natured teasing to stay within the bounds of acceptable humor.
The best man's speech shouldn't be all jokes and stand-up comedy however. A gentle ribbing is always entertaining, but the best man should soften the blow with moments of honesty and affection - remind him that his friendship is still valued and important in spite of the ridicule. The best man should highlight some of his favorite moments with the groom in his speech; explain how they met and how much the friendship means to him.
After the teasing and the sentimental reminder, the best man should pick up the mood and read any emails or letters from guests who couldn't attend the wedding. Before reading the message, always explain the relationship and location of the sender, so the guests understand who sent the message and from where. The couple should review the letters with the best man prior to the wedding day and point out the aunts, uncles, grand parents, cousins, and friends so the best man can include the title in his reading. The guests will recognize Aunt Mary from Jacksonville, Florida more easily than Mary Doe or Mrs. Doe.
The best man should end his speech by complimenting the bride and offering a congratulatory toast to the newly married couple wishing them happiness and good fortune in their future together. If other speeches are to follow the best man's speech, the best man can smooth the transition to the next speech by offering a toast to the next speaker before he hands over from the microphone.
Maid of Honor's Speech
Traditionally, a maid of honor speech is not given. However, with more maids of honor wanting to publicly thank and congratulate the couple the speeches are becoming increasingly common. As the maid of honor speech is a relatively new concept it doesn't have a set spot in the traditional wedding speech order. Ideally, it should come after the parents of the bride speech, groom's speech and the best man speech. As to whether it comes before of after the parents of the groom speech is up to the discretion of the couple. Regardless of the order, for continuity purposes, the maid of honor should acknowledge the previous speaker's toast and offer a toast of her own to the next speaker.
As the maid of honor speech is a new addition to the wedding speech lineup there are no expectations surrounding your speech. So you can really say anything you want. With that in mind, here is a suggested maid of honor speech outline - feel free to adapt it to suit your style.
Start by thanking the guests that helped with the wedding preparations. This should not include the wedding officiant, caterer or other vendors - the bride's parents will thank them in their speech. Instead, thank those that helped with the reception decorations, made wedding guest favors, addressed wedding invitations and other tasks leading up to and during the wedding. Mention the guest by name; this public acknowledgment will mean a lot to them.
Now talk about your relationship with the bride. You can choose to gently tease the bride, as the best man teases the groom in his speech, or it can be sentimental trip down memory lane. Should you choose the former of these options be careful not to overly embarrass the bride. The idea is to make her laugh in delight, over a foolish past moment, not shame her by reminding her of an incident she'd rather forget. Sharing sentimental memories is the safer and more touching of the two options. Relate the story of how you met the bride, the adventures you've shared and those special moments of true friendship.
Don't forget the groom in your speech! Tell him of the time when you knew he was "the one" for the bride. Let him know what a wonderful guy he is and what a wonderful husband he's sure to become.
If there's time offer some brief words of advice to the couple. This can be drawn from your own experience (if married) or with the help of a relevant quote. A moving poem can also convey feelings that may otherwise be hard to express.
End your speech with a toast to the couple. If another speech is to follow also offer a toast to the next speaker (it will probably be the groom's parents or even the bride herself).
|
|